BROKEN

This post was written in July of 2016. A lot has changed since then, but you will need this information before I can continue with the rest of the story:

I have essentially been stuck in a time bubble since a tragic event on May 11, 2013. Waiting, waiting, ever so impatiently to get SOME kind of settlement. I am living on credit cards. Disability check covers the bare essentials, that's all...even my drugs go on a credit card. It's bad. I would file for bankruptcy, but anything I get settlement-wise would then just go away. At minimum I had hoped to at least be able to cover the expenses I had incurred but who knows when that will be?

In the meantime, everyone is getting testy. Doctors haven't been paid in 3 years and they're pissed. I am sick of 29 cent mac & cheese and peanut butter on saltines. I look like something that just crawled out of Auschwitz. I have lost enough weight to make up an entirely new person. I had to buy pants and shirts because everything, every bit of clothing I had no longer fits -- it just hangs on me like a scarecrow. I am dodging collection phone calls. I stopped opening mail about 2 years ago because all it does is depress me.

What about the arm that is now rendered useless? What about my goddamned leg? I've been to 4 different orthopedic surgeons and nobody will touch the leg. I fucking BATTLED to save that leg once...and now that battle means nothing. I have a broken leg that will be permanently broken and disfigured. It doesn't even look like a human leg anymore.

The car I had been driving was entirely paid for -- in the clear and still had more than half of its warranty left. Gone, all gone in an instant. And now I'm in the hole for 8k for a replacement car that actually cost less than the car I was driving. It is just so WRONG and unfair. I'm pissed, depressed, sick and in even more pain than I was to begin with.

Meanwhile my hole gets deeper.