I am Klingon, Hear me Roar

I have these knobs. All along the incision on my sternum are these hard lumps under the skin that feel exactly like a row of radiator hose clamps.  If I run my fingers along the incision from top to bottom, it feels not unlike the row of knobs on a Klingon's head.  I know this from TV, since I have never felt the knobs on an actual Klingon's head.

I had to go back to the doctor yesterday afternoon.  There was a problem with my pain script.  Since the government crackdown on the lowly pain pill, one must have a written prescription to present to the pharmacist, as they will no longer accept or process phoned-in prescriptions for controlled substances.

I got there right at noon, prepared to wait, but surprised there were very few patients sitting in the waiting room.  Normally it's crammed, every single one of them sitting there with their thumbs in their asses, every chair filled.  I digress...

I was further surprised when the doctor himself came shambling out from the back, script in hand. "I'm really sorry about this," he begins, as he shoves it at me. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, just never let it happen again!!" I smile at him.  He smiles back, being used to my odd sense of humor by now. 

"When I was here the other day I forgot to make you feel my knobs - so while you're standing right there, give me your paw!" I demand.

"WHAT?"

"It'll be quick," I promise.  He sticks out his right hand as if for a handshake.

I take his hand in mine and with his fingers grasped together in my palm, I run his fingertips along my row of Klingon knobs.  "What the hell IS that? Do you feel those lumpy knobs?  They feel like radiator hose clamps..."

"You're right! That's exactly what they feel like," he laughs. "First of all, I want you to know it only happens to the most beautiful women."

"Are you flirting with me, you disgusting old fuck?" I think, but do not say, and roll my eyes instead.  "Not that big lump between my collarbones, I mean the row of little ones..."

"Same phenomenon.  All I can say is it will eventually smooth out. We don't know why the sternum heals that way in some people. It's just a harmless anomaly."

"Hrmph!" I say. "See you in two weeks," he says, and shambles back to his lair.  When he reaches the door, he turns to look at me and says, "You're going to be ok!"  I stick out my tongue at him.  He giggles like a goofy kid and disappears behind the door.