Egypt oh Egypt

One thing that was on my original bucket list was visiting Egypt.  Since I was a small child I have always wanted to go there.  With the recent unrest, travel to Egypt is all but impossible, not to mention looters have F-ed up the big museum, stolen a few things, smashed a few others.  It's a mess, and they should be ashamed of themselves, and then they should be executed for destroying national treasures.  On the other hand, the middle east has always been a hot spot and you take your life into your own hands any time you travel there.

I have this wonderful idea.  Dr. Zahi Hawass annoys me.  He annoys me a lot. Ever since he began inserting his face into anything that is remotely connected to Egypt, he just makes my skin crawl.  He is Egypt's Jesse Jackson.

My master plan is to write him an official-looking letter, tell him I am leaving the museum $5 million in my will, and insist that he give me a personal tour of the museum, all the remote sites, like Tut's Tomb, the Valley of the Kings, and any digs that are now in progress.  I expect him to wait on me hand and foot for the roughly 30 days I wish to spend there.  Of course I will be in the best hotel, and insist on having my own personal chef so I won't get some wretched parasite or fungus, etc.  Assuming I can survive the extra long plane ride without getting any monster clots, it just might work! 

"Dear Dr. Hawass, I am a very sick woman, yada yada, $5 mil, yada yada....

I get to see Egypt, a land I have loved since childhood, and humiliate that turd, Zahi Hawass while doing it.  Ahhh good times.